dtrip01:

Tracy Jordan - Werewolf Bar Mitzvah

Producer (Donald Glover): Aw man, Tray, look up at the sky! It’s a full moon… on the Sabbath.
Tracy: This is… scary!
Producer: Break it down.

Verse 1
I was working late on my Haftorah
when I heard a knock on my bedroom-doorah
I opened it up and to my surprise
there was a werewolf standing there with glowing gold eyes
he says tomorrow my son you will be a man
but tonight’s the time to join the wolfen clan
tomorrow you will stand at the bimah and pray
but tonight let’s gaze at the moon and bay

(Chorus 2x)
Werewolf bar mitzvah
Spooky scary
Boys becoming men
Men becoming wolves

Producer: Alright, that was great Tray. 
Ok, it’s over. That’s a wrap! Oh-

Verse 2
The next day what happened, the Talmud didn’t teach //Producer: Oh, there’s more…
I got up in front of everyone to give my little speech
then my teeth turned into fangs and my nails into claws
and I nearly dropped the Torah when my hands turned into paws
I growled and I roared and my rabbi did as well
it was a rocking werewolf zoo at Temple Beth-Emmanuel

Producer: Ey man, where’d you learn all these Jewish words?
Tracy: My manager, Harvey Lemmings.

(Chorus)

Producer: I don’t… I-I just don’t think this… the idea of the song can substain its self for that long because it…it seems a little sweaty now, so…
Tracy: This whole premise is sweaty.

Verse 3
We had a reception at the Larchmont Country Club
they served a real nice brisket and an eight foot party sub
I danced with my cousins, I got money from my folks
we had a lot of fun making circumcision jokes //Producer: Uh-uh…
then I remembered the premise of my song
I was at a nice reception but the werewolf part was gone
so we pulled ourselves together and we’re wolfmen again
just in time for monster fight to begin //Producer: Noooo…
all the country club employees were brainsucking pack
who had all turned into zombies and were on the attack //Producer: No, man…
so we fought them and some draculas and frankensteins too
cause you gotta love bar mitzvah, even if you’re not a [Arooo~!]

Re-vamp
Werewolf bar mitzvah //Producer: There’s no such thing as “Frankensteins”…
Spooky scary //Producer: …”steins”.
Boys becoming men //Producer: No plural Frankenstein.
Men becoming wolves

Werewolf bar mitzvah
Kooky hairy
Boys becoming men
Men becoming wolves 

Tracy: I don’t want this… I don’t like this… this is scary! Turning into werewolves and stuff, you know?
Tracy: [Arooououou!]